GENTLEMEN, BE SEATED!
THE LYRICS
THE SHOW
CAST
LYRICS
MUSIC
PLAYBILL
SET DESIGN
ARTICLES/REVIEWS
LYRICS
Click on the song titles listed below to see the lyrics. The red and white arrow at the bottom will bring you back to the top.
ACT I
ACT II
ACT I
1. GRAND MARCH
The Curtain rises, revealing a semicircle of gilt chairs. TAMBO and BONES come high-stepping on from opposite sides of the stage. They vigorously perform on their respective instruments, the tambourine and bones (clappers). Both TAMBO and BONES are Black.
TAMBO
Oh tell me, tell me Mister Bones, What’s all the news this year?
BONES
Why don’t you hear them bugle tones A-spittin’ in your ear?
BOTH
There’s somethin’ comin’ round the bend
There’s history to be made
We don’t know where it’s gonna end
But let’s join that parade
There’ll be glory, glory in the morning!
There’ll be glory, glory round the bend!
We’ll be singing glory hallelujah!
There’s a great day coming, my friend!
(A GROUP of WHITE SINGERS march on)
CHORUS
WHITE SINGERS
Way back in seventeen seventy-five
We fought a glorious fight,
But hardly a man is now alive
Who saw that glorious sight
The glory of the pioneers
Was plain for all to see •••
But after nearly ninety years,
What’s left for you and me?
TAMBO, BONES and CHORUS
There’ll be glory, glory in the morning
There’ll be glory shining in our eyes!
We’ll be singing glory hallelujah!
What a great big happy surprise!
(MR. BANJO, a black man with a tenor-banjo, struts on. HE is followed by a group of WHITE DANCERS.
Then a group of BLACK SINGERS march on)
BLACK CHORUS
You bought us in our native land
And brought us to this spot •••
So now we are American
If we like it or not!
If you got glory on the brain
There ain’t no choice for us
But climb aboard that glory train
Be glorious ••• or bust!
ALL
There’ll be paths of glory up before us!
There’ll be clouds of glory trailin’ round •••
Sing that glory hallelujah chorus!
Let ’em hear that we’re glory bound!
(A quartet of WHITE SINGERS enter. THEY will become JOHNNY REB, BILLY YANK, THE SOUTHERN BELLE and THE NORTHERN GIRL)
ALL FOUR
What is the glory gonna be
That’s comin’ into sight?
BILLY YANK and NORTHERN GIRL
The glory that’s in unity?
JOHNNY REB and SOUTHERN GIRL
The glory of state’s rights?
Plantation days and collard greens,
A life that’s full and rich?
BILLY YANK and NORTHERN GIRL
Or stocks and bonds and pork and beans?
ALL
Won’t someone tell us which?
(With a flourish, MR. INTERLOCUTOR enters)
ALL
There’ll be glory, glory in the morning!
There’ll be glory, glory round the bend!
We’ll be singing glory, hallelujah!
There’s a great day comin’, my friend!
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
(Spoken)
Gentlemen, be seated!
(And the GENTLEMEN are seated in the semicircle with the LADIES standing in back of them, the whole pose reminiscent of early daguerro-type group photos)
DIALOGUE 1.
MISTER BONES
Mister Interlocutor?
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Yes, Mr. Bones?
MR. BONES
We been singin’ about glory, but what-all is this glory, Mr. Interlocutor?
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Well, you know what Noah Webster says •••
TAMBO
Noah Webster? Who dat?
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Why, Mr. Tambo, Noah Webster wrote the dictionary!
TAMBO
Lawd, Lawd, he done that? And what do that Noah Webster say?
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
(Produces a Volume and opens it)
Well, Mr. Tambo, according to this latest revised edition, copyright this year, IBEO, glory is “Praise, honor, distinction, renown, brilliancy, splendor, celestial bliss, height of prosperity, or a halo.”
TAMBO
He say all that?
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Right here, Mr. Tambo.
TAMBO
That Noah Webster, he’s just confused!
BONES
Where-all is this hyar glory at, Mister Interlocutor?
JOHNNY REB
(Standing up)
I can answer that, sir. In the South, sir! In the glorious
South you’ll find the glory of this glorious nation!
(HE sits down)
BONES
I Will?
JOHNNY REB
Yes, you will!
BONES
I ain’t hitherto.
JOHNNY REB
(Stands again)
I’m not sure, but I think that was a slur on our gracious Southland.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Now, do not get ruffled, sir. Everyone knows the South is the abode of grace and culture, and the birthplace of our Presidents.
(JOHNNY sits down)
TAMBO
(Slyly)
Who knows that, Mr. Interlocutor?
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Why, everybody knows, Mr. Tambo.
(And THEY all begin to sing “In The Sunny Old South”)
2. IN THE SUNNY OLD SOUTH
ENSEMBLE
In the sunny old South
Peaches melt in your mouth.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
It’s an ever-livin’ paradise
Smell the garden full of rose and spice
Bobolinks are singin’ in the rice,
And in other ways the Southland’s nice.
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR, TAMBO and BONES have come forward and are tap-dancing while the CHORUS SINGS)
CHORUS
It’s an ever living paradise, etc.
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR stops dancing and listens in amazement as TAMED and BONES sing to him)
TAMED and BONES
But take a look around you
and take a look twice!
The slave-market’s boomin’
Up a dandy price.
And there’s Eliza runnin’
And headin’ for the ice
But otherwise
The Southland’s nice.
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR, TAMBO and BONES rejoin the OTHERS)
ENSEMBLE
Hear that old whip-poor-will
He won’t never be still.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
And it does a person good to see
All the workhands singin’ harmony
Underneath the old crepe-myrtle tree
And in other ways the South’s for me!
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR TAMBO and BONES come forward again and dance)
CHORUS
And it does a person good to see, Etc.
(MR INTERLOCUTOR is again amazed as TAMBO and BONES sing to him)
TAMBO and BONES
But take a walk out yonder
Past the crepe-myrtle tree
where Uncle Tom’s dyin’
Out in Cabin Three
And the whip that your’re hearin’
Is Simon Legree
But otherwise
The South’s for me.
CHORUS WOMEN (Coming forward as THEY sing)
There’s a noble stair-case curvin’
In the mansion’s lofty hail.
Ain’t the whole thing worth preservin’
When you come to look at it all?
TAMBO and BONES
The climate’s unhealthy when the wet dews fall
And Little Eva’s list’nin’ for the Angel’s call,
But Mrs. St. Clair is still havin’ a ball!
TAMBO, BONES and CHORUS WOMEN
Oh ain’t it worth preservin’
when you look at it all?
(The OTHER GROUPS rise and come forward)
ENSEMBLE
They’ve got family pride
And magnolias beside
ENSEMBLE (Whites)
See the watermelon on the vine
It’s as pretty as a ditty on a valentine
ENSEMBLE (Black)
But the cry of the whip-poor-will can be a sign
That the underground railroad is startin’ down the line.
ENSEMBLE (All)
The underground railroad is startin’ down the line
The cry of the whip-poor-will will be a sign
Whip-poor-will
Whip-poor will
ENSEMBLE (Black)
The Underground Railroad
Is gonna undermine
The mansion and the staircase
And the pretty valentine
And the cry of the whip-poor-will
Can be a sign!
But otherwise
The Southland’s fine!
(The MEMBERS of the ORCHESTRA whistle the ‘whip-poor-will’ call as the BLACK SINGERS move to the front of the stage)
3. THE FREEDOM TRAIN
A curtain is drawn between the PEOPLE in the foreground and the MEMBERS of the MINSTREL CIRCLE. Out of the shadows looms the monumental figure of a CONTRALTO SOLOIST
SOLO CONTRALTO
Whip-poor-will fly close
Call round the cabin
Tellin’ my people
It’s time for them to go.
North star wi11 guide me
Big water will help me
Leading’ my people
Along the way they go.
(As SHE sings, the GROUP begins to do pantomimic movement in the back – ground)
Sarah, ‘Lijah, look out t he window.
Daniel, Dinah, look out the door.
Look a-way over yonder
What are you all waitin’ for?
Remember Harriet Tubman?
I slaved in the field as strong as a man
Remember Harriet Tubman
On the freedom train away I ran!
The freedom train don’t ride no track
The freedom train don’t ride no steel-built track
But it takes you where they can’t fetch you back
The freedom train that’s under the ground.
Sarah ‘Lijah don’t look behind you
Daniel, Dinah, run through the night!
Look away over yonder
Keep that old north star in sight!
Just follow Harriet Tubman
With a price on my head and a dream in my brain!
Just follow Harriet Tubman
A-leadin’ my people on the freedom train.
The freedom train don’t have no car
The freedom train don t have no plush-seat car
But it takes you where only free men are
The freedom train that’s under the Ground.
If we run and hide, if we sweat and strain
Spite of cold and sun spite of fear and pain
We’ll reach the next station on the freedom train
On the train that’s under the ground.
Now the very first station’s a potato hole
With the succulent yams in the potato hole
But a-hidin’ with the yams is human souls
On the train that’s under the ground.
And at every station is a friend with friends.
And at every station is a friend with friends
Who will help you on to your journey’s end
On the train that’s under the ground.
Sarah, ‘Lijah, sing hallelujah
Daniel, Dinah sing jubilee
Look away over yonder
Every inch o’ land is free
Good-bye to Harriet Tubman
‘Cause now I’m steppin’ back South again,
Good-bye to Harriet Tubman
I’ll lead more people on the freedom train!
The freedom train ain’t t run by steam
The freedom train ain’t run by power of steam
It is run by our hands ds and hopes and dreams
The freedom train that’s under the ground.
DIALOGUE 2.
TAMBO
You goin’ on this hyah Freedom Train, Mister Bones?
BONES
Dat ah don’t know. If I gits on that Freedom Train, where’ll I git?
TAMBO
You’ll git up North among them Yankees, an’ folks round here say them Yankee bolitionists am the very devil.
BONES
What they want to bolition, Mister Tambo?
TAMBO
They want to bolition us, Mister Bones.
BONES
I wasn’t aimin’ yet to be bolitioned.
TAMBO
Why Mister Bones, them Yankees feel so strong about bolitionin’ they got a boatload o’ sojers outside the harbor tryin’ to land an’ do it … an’ the Southern gemmum is got guns set all round the harbor to bolition the bolitionists! … an’ folks is givin’ a big party while they waits around for the guns to go bang.
BONES
What kind of party, Mr. Tambo?
TAMBO
A celebration party, Mister Bones … an’ I got to git on down to pick mint for the juleps.
BONES
What kind of a party am a celebration party, Mr. Tambo?
TAMBO
Why Mr. Bones, a celebration party is when you wait for the guns to go bang … an’ folks say them guns’ll go bang this very night cause de crisis done come.
BONES
What-all’s a crisis, Mister Tambo?
TAMBO
Dat ah don’t know, Mister Bones, but it done come.
BONES
What’ll them guns fire at, Mister Tambo?
TAMBO
If de Crisis done come, I specks dey’ll be firin’ at de crisis.
4. WALTZING IN THE SHADOW
WALTZING COUPLES fill the stage in front of a scrim. The last to enter are MISS FLORIDA COTTON (solo dancer) and MR. INTERLOCUTOR.
The lights come up behind the scrim on the ballroom of an ante-bellum Southern mansion in Charleston, SC. .
The couples dance off and reappear in back of the scrim. MISS FLORIDA COTTON dances with JOHNNY REB. MR. INTERLOCUTOR remains alone in front of the scrim.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
We’re waltzing in the shadow
We’re waiting in the dark
And almost any minute
Our hearts may strike a spark
To set the whole world blazing
And burn the sky in two
But now it’s too soon
So strike up the tune
We’ll waltz until they do.
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR dances off. The scene continues behind the scrim.)
LADIES
I declare. I declare!
Look at the men all fall into her snare
She just came from dear-me-knows where
And we’re certain there’s dye in her hair.
MEN
Does she care? Does she care?
Not so you’d know from her delicate air,
The smile she continues to wear!
We could drown in the brown of her hair
JOHNNY REB
Miss Florida Cotton of Florida
She shook all my life quite apart!
We waltzed down the room and the corridor
And she waltzed eight int my heart!
Oh, some girls it seems may dance round in your dreams
And then fade like a lost memory
But Miss Florida Cotton will not be forgotten
As long as my heart srill can beat one, two, three!
The ballroom scene continues as MR. INTERLOCUTOR comes forward in front of the scrim.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Look ‘cross the bay, look ‘cross the bay.
Is Fort Sumter still standing out there?
Aren’t there any bombs bursting in air?
Why, there’s no bombs at all, I declare!
And so to the waltz again
Although we may dance on the brink.
Keep twisting, keep turning,
It’s too late for learning,
Keep twirling, keep whirling, don’t think!
MR. INTERLOCUTOR and MEN
We’re waltzing in the shadow
We’re watching through the night
And almost any minute
The word may come to fight
One shot may still the music
And set the sky aflame
But till it is heard
We won’t say a word
Keep waltzing just the same.
As MR. INTERLOCUTOR leaves, the dancers come around from behind the scrim and fill the front of the stage. THE SOUTHERN GIRL (Willie May) dances with BILLY YANK, but keeps an eye on JOHNNY REB who flirts with MISS FLORIDA COTTON.
The dancers go off behind the scrim. MISS FLORIDA COTTON, JOHNNY REB, THE SOUTHERN GIRL, and BILLY YANK are left alone. MISS FLORIDA COTTON suddenly rushes away from JOHNNY REB to join the others.
JOHNNY REB
Have you noticed Miss Florida Cotton in there?
Ain’t she makin’ the gentlemen stare?
Don’t she light up the air dancin’ so debonair
With such form an’ such fashion and flair?
MISS FLORIDA COTTON comes running out again. She whirls about the stage for a moment and then swings JOHNNY REB back into the waltz.
SOUTHERN GIRL
Johnny!
JOHNNY REB
Just a minute, Willie May!
They move off to join the others behind the scrim. WILLIE MAY is alone with BILLY YANK.
BILLY YANK
Willie May, what is it?
I’ve noticed it all through my visit,
There’s something that’s causing you pain;
Is it Johnny?
SOUTHERN GIRL
I reckon it’s plain.
BILLY YANK
Shall I speak to him? I think somebody should.
I’m his cousin; I can, if anyone could.
WILLIE MAY is on the verge of tears.
SOUTHERN GIRL
Oh, Billy, you’re just too good.
You’re real noticin’, for a Yankee.
As JOHNNY REB and MISS FLORIDA COTTON dance on again, THE SOUTHERN GIRL runs off, crying. BILLY YANK walks over and pulls JOHNNY REB aside to talk to him. Throughout this episode, MISS FLORIDA COTTON minces about on the other side of the stage.
BILLY YANK
Cousin Johnny! Willie May’s gone to cry in her room.
I leave you to guess cause of whom!
JOHNNY REB
If maybe I flirted s bit,
And welcomed a guest with gallantry,
There’s no need to get into a snit;
It was only South’ren chivalry.
BILLY YANK
In Boston when we say a thing,
We mean the thing we say.
JOHNNY REB
We may not choose to lead our lives
As you do in Buzzard Bay.
BILLY YANK
I’d trade your South’ren chivalry
Fr the old New England way!
JOHNNY REB
If you don’t like South’ren chivalry,
Why not go home today?
JOHNNY RED goes off in a fury. BILLY YANK, equally angry, turns, and in silhouette, listens to the couples promenading behind the scrim.
LADIES
It’s out well-considered opinion
When speakin’ of breedin’ and such,
If a person’s not South Carolinian,
A person’s not anything much!
MEN
We’ll fight to defend our dominion
And, soon as they fire that first shell,
The hearts that are South Carolinian
Will drive those damn Yankees to Hell!
As BILLY YANK rushes off, the scrim rises, and the waltz sweeps over the full stage.
ENSEMBLE
Ah! We’re waltzing in the shadow
We’re dancing on the brink
So play the music faster
And leave no time to think.
The big event that’s coming
May cast its shade before
But shadows will fly
And we’ll see on high
The bright red dawn of war.
But shadows will fly
We’ll see in the sky
The bright red dawn –
(A cannon shot booms out. MR. INTERLOCUTOR comes on)
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
(Speaks)
The dance is over, gentlemen. South
Carolina has just fired on Fort Sumter.
THE SOUTHERN GIRL
(Speaks with patriotic fervor)
Heaven save us,
Jefferson Davis.
ENSEMBLE
It’s war!
5. FARE YOU WELL
JOHNNY REB and the SOUTHERN GIRL stand at one side of the stage SHE is holding a confederate uniform jacket.
SOUTHERN GIRL
I know you will fight
For the right
And I know you will win
Cause you’re in the right
And You’ll come home to somebody
some fine day
In your beautiful uniform
of grey
JOHNNY REB
I’ll come home to you some day
In my uniform of grey.
Fare you well
However long I wander
Fare you well
However far I roam
If my heart stays here
Within your hand
I’ll walk a stranger’s land
With part of me at home.
JOHNNY REB and SOUTHERN GIRL
Every end
May lead to a beginning
Roads I take
May turn and bring me near.
Someday I’ll look
And see you standing here again
Fare you well …
very well …
Till then.
(THE SOUTHERN GIRL helps JOHNNY REB change into his uniform jacket. The lights have come up on the other side of the stage where the NORTHERN GIRL and BILLY YANK are duplicating the actions of the other two. As the NORTHERN GIRL starts to sing, the lights fade on the SOUTHERN COUPLE)
NORTHERN GIRL
I know you will fight
For the right
And I know you will win
Cause you’re in the right
And you’ll come home to somebody good as new
In your beautiful uniform of blue.
BILLY YANK
Someday I’ll come home to you
In my uniform of blue
Fare you well
However long I wander
Fare you well
However far I roam
If my heart stays here
within your hand
I’ll walk a strangers land
With part of me at home.
BILLY YANK and NORTHERN GIRL
Every end
May lead to a beginning
Roads I take
May turn and bring me near.
Some day I’ll look
And see you standing here again
Fare you well …
Very well …
Till then …
(THEY go off).
6. THE DOME
The curtain rises on the central oval drop with an insert showing the Capitol, Washington D.C. as it was in 1861, with the dome as yet unbuilt, MR. BANJO comes out followed by TAMBO and BONES.
TAMBO
Oh, Mister Bones, please put me wise,
What city might this be?
BONES
Why, Mr. Tambo, use your eyes
This is Washington D.C.!
Let’s go and ring Marse Linkum’s bell
And see if he’s at home.
TAMBO
It ‘pears this here’s the Capitol
But it hasn’t got a dome!
BONES
It hasn’t got a dome!
TAMBO
How come?
BONES
It hasn’t got a dome?
TAMBO
How come?
BONES
It ‘pears this here’s the Capitol.
TAMBO and BONES
But it hasn’t got a dome!
(THE? do a few dance steps. MR. INTERLOCUTOR dances on)
BONES
Oh, Mister Interlocutor,
Please exercise your wit.
If that there’s our head buildin’, sir,
Then why ain’t they finished it?
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Up out of empty wilderness
We’ve struggled and we’ve clomb
BONES
But if we’re such a big success,
Why ain’t we got a dome?
TAMBO
Why ain’t we got a dome?
BONES
Do tell!
TAMBO
Why ain’t we got a dome?
BONES
Do tell!
TAMBO
If we are such a big success Then why ain’t we got a dome!
(THEY all three dance)
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Oh, we’ve been building sixty years
A-making Washington,
Though to some critics it appears
We have only just begun
We had a lofty dream in mind
To rival Greece and Rome,
And as the climax we designed
Us a noble cast-iron dome!
But Rome declined away one fall,
And Greece dissolved from view,
And we grew lackadaisical
About our vision, too!
The symbol that should take the stage,
As perfect as a pome,
Now sits around in middle age
Still awaiting for its dome!
TAMBO and BONES
Still waiting for its dome.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Poor thing!
TAMBO and BONES
It sits around in middle age
Still awaiting for
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Still awaiting for
MR. INTERLOCUTOR, TAMBO and BONES
Still awaiting for its dome!
(BILLY YANK and the UNION SOLDIERS erupt on stage. BILLY YANK salutes MR. INTERLOCUTOR and speaks to him)
BILLY YANK
Oh, Mr. Seargeant, tell me, do
Where are our barracks at?
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
We have no barracks built for you
So you’ll have to sleep in that!
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR points to the Capitol)
TENOR
Then I will be a Senator!
BASS
The House will be my home
BILLY YANK
And I’ll sleep in the Rotunda
Unda that bald-headed dome!
(There is wild confusion and the MEN rush to get settled)
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
(Whistles through two fingers)
‘Tenshun!
Fall in!
(The Men fall in and MR. INTERLOCUTOR begins to drill them. This is done through an antiphonal tap-dance. MR. INTERLOCUTOR demonstrates and the MEN repeat his steps. When HE gives them something difficult to do, like push-ups, HE rests nonchalantly against the proscenium, beating out the time with his taps; and if THEY try to sneak off, thinking HE is not watching, HE catches them and orders them back into the drill line with a volley of taps. THEY all finally reach a staccato of violently energetic steps and dance off)
* If MR. INTERLOCUTOR cannot tap-dance, MR. TAPS can be introduced to lead the dance portion of the number.
DIALOGUE 3.
BONES
That’s a might smart regiment they just drilled up.
TAMBO
Looks kinda stupid to me.
BONES
Why, Mr. Tambo, them boys is goin off to fight for their country. It will be the first battle of the war and they’ll fight to their last drop of blood.
TAMBO
They may fight to the last drop of blood, but will they fight till the first drop?
BONES
Mr. Tambo, you is a Philistine!
(The DOWAGER enters with her DAUGHTER in tow. The DAUGHTER (ERMYNTRUDE) is a large gawky girl. The DOWAGER is played by the COMEDIENNE, the last of the principals to be introduced)
DOWAGER
Tambo, Bones! Did you get the carriage?
BONES
It’s waiting without, Main.
DOWAGER
Without what?
BONES
Without the horse, Main.
DOWAGER
Did you get a good one?
TAMBO
Well, Mam, he’s got a few failings.
DOWAGER
What kind of failings?
TAMBO
Just a little blindness and a little deafness. Outside of that you’ll find him all sorts of a horse.
DOWAGER
Well, go harness this Pegasus … And don’t forget to ice the champagne … And fetch the cold collation.
TAMBO and BONES
Yes, Mam. Yes, Mam.
(TAMBO and BONES go off as the DOWAGER screams her last instructions after them)
DOWAGER
If we don’t hurry we’ll be late for the best seats.
ERMYN TRUDE
Ma, I’m scared,
DOWAGER
Nonsense, Ermyntrude. There’s not the slightest danger.
Everyone will be there.
(THE SENATOR enters)
DOWAGER
Look, there’s the Senator. Smile, Ermyntrude, smile!
7. PICNIC AT MANASSAS
DOWAGER
Dear Senator, this is delightful!
You know my daughter Ermyntrude?
Ermyntrude, speak to the Senator.
Ermyntrude, speak to the Senator!
Ermyntrude
Howdy-do
SENATOR
Howdy-do
DOWAGER
Dear Senator, isn’t it frightful?
Yet isn’t it thrilling, too?
Our wonderful boys in blue today
Are fighting those horrible boys in grey!
Won’t it be rather fun?
They’re meeting them at Bull Run!
Bull Run! What a name! So vulgar, quite suggestive!
Bull Run!
I prefer to call it Manassas.
We will all be there in masses.
There isn’t a seat to be had,
But we would be only too glad
If you wouldn’t disparage
A place in my carriage
Ermyntrude
Won’t we be glad?
Oh, the picnic at Manassas.
Just ev’ry one will be there.
We will take our op’ra glasses
And we’ll share in the mad affair.
We will sit in the offing,
(No spitting, no coughing)
And share in the mad affair
Oh the picnic at Manassas
Everyone will be there!
With each minie shell our hearts will swell
The foe will lie low in defeat
We will shout “Hurrah!’ eating pate-de-foie gras.
What a beautiful picnic treat!
(A HORSE, played by TWO Men, draws a carriage on the stage. The DOWAGER is delighted and greets the equipage with Wagnerian intensity.
The SENATOR helps the LADIES into the carriage. During the refrain, the HORSE executes a small dance, in place, as the card with the picture of the domeless Capitol is moved out of the oval frame and is replaced first by one of the countryside and then of one of the battlefield. The dance and the movement of the scenic cards shuld suggest the journey to the picnic grounds)
DOWAGER (Continued)
Oh, the picnic at Manassas!
It is the event of the year,
Champagne will fill our glasses
As we join in a mighty cheer.
(To the HORSE)
When our Boys are appearing
No bucking! No rearing!
But join in a mighty cheer.
Oh, the picnic at Manassas
It’s the event of the year.
(The SENATOR hands the LADIES down from the carriage)
Oh, isn’t it bliss? We will have all this
And cucumber sandwiches, too.
(To the SENATOR, as HE hands her down)
Yes, thanks a lot. What a heavenly spot!
What a beautiful picnic view!
(ERMYNTRUDE and the SENATOR are busy opening baskets, arranging the picnic as the DOWAGER marches around delightedly.
ERMYNTRUDE looks off to the side. SHE is frightened)
ERMYNTRUDE
Oh, Mother, I see some running men!
Oh, say, what can it be?
DOWAGER
Strategic retreat, dear!
Do have a pickled beet, dear.
You must have something to eat, dear.
And pass the pastry to me!
ERMYNTRUDE
Oh, Mother, I see some running men!
Oh, my, how wild they seem!
DOWAGER
It’s the enemy in flight, dear.
After all, that’s only right, dear
Oh, ain’t it a glorious sight, dear?
Senator, lemon or cream?
ERMYNTRUDE
Oh, Mother, I saw a man fall down!
His life how can we save?
DOWAGER
It’s a rebel who’s hurt, dear.
He’s had his just dessert, dear.
Is that blood on his shirt, dear?
That will teach him to behave.
SENATOR
Oh, Madam, I fear we’re in danger here
Our boys are defeated, they say.
Why don’t we go home right away?
ERMYNTRUDE and SENATOR
Why don’t we go home right away?
(SOLDIERS and CIVILIAN SPECTATORS tear wildly across the stage, fleeing. They bump into the DOWAGER, knocking her about as THEY pass. THEY step on the luncheon things. The SENATOR and ERMYNTRUDE join them and run off. The horse, Dobbin, which has been rearing and bucking, rushes off after the last of them)
DOWAGER
How cowardly! How caddish!
Have some celery!
Have a radish!
Senator, you’re no gentleman!
Ermyntrude, wait!
Dobbin, whoa!
Dobbin, whoa!
The picnic at Manassas,
I’m demanding my money back!
We have let the foe surpass us,
And just look at my seal-skin sacque!
And my lovely new bonnet,
Someone stepped right on it,
And look at my seal-skin sacque!
Oh, the picnic at Manassas!
I’m demanding my money back!
Now it’s starting to rain and I shall complain!
I’m furious, thwarted, and foiled!
They have lost Bull Run, and they’ve ruined my fun
And my beautiful picnic’s spoiled.
(SHE throws her battered bonnet to the ground and stomps off)
DIALOGUE 4.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Yes, the Battle of Bull Run was quite a disappointment to the audience. Of course, some people claim if there hadn’t been any audience the battle might have ended differently.
General MacDowell says they got in the way of his attacking the Rebels, and General Beauregard says if they hadn’t been there his boys might have captured Yankee soldiers instead of 3 Senators, 6 Congressmen and Miss — —
(Use the real name of THE COMEDIENNE)
FARMER McLEAN
(Enters pushing a cart with his belongings)
Howdy, Mr. Interlocutor.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Howdy, Farmer McLean. Where are you going all packed up so?
FARMER McLEAN
I just had a terrible time. Them Yankees came down and were shooting guns all over my farm and us Southerners had to chase them out and the place is a mess!
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Didn’t you know you were in the center of a tremendous battle?
FARMER McLEAN
That’s what it seemed like to me and I don’t intend to be in any other. So I just traded my farm for one on the other side of the state away from all this ruckus, and I’m rnovin’ there today.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Good luck, Farmer McLean.
(FARMER McLEAN moves off)
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
(Calling after him before HE gets off)
Where’s your new place at, Farmer McLean?
FARMER McLEAN
Nice place with rich land. Town called Appomattox.
(HE goes off)
MR INTERLOCUTOR
Never heard of it.
(The SOUTHERN GIRL has entered)
SOUTHERN GIRL
Mr. Interlocutor, were you at the battle? Did you see Johnny? … I’m getting so anxious.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
He was at the battle but he went off with the troops. And he’s all right, so don’t you worry.
(HE starts off)
SOUTHERN GIRL
It’s just that I never thought it’d be so long …
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR waves goodbye and disappears into the wings)
I only wish I knew … where he was…
8. MOCKINGBIRD
SOUTHERN GIRL
I’m dreaming now of Johnny
He is handsome and winsome and bonny
And I’m waiting here for news of him.
Mockingbird
Singing sweetly upon the sycamore limb,
Have you heard any word?
Have you news to bring me from him?
Oh, do not mock my sorrow.
If -there’s no news today, then tomorrow
Even if you bring bad news of him!
Mockingbird
Don’t keep singing upon the sycamore limb.
Fly up high to the sky
And look down for some news of him!
I’m dreaming now of Johnny.
He is handsome and winsome and bonny
And I’m waiting here for news of him!
(SHE goes off)
9. SHILOH
The BOYS IN GREY are seated in a semicircle. The grouping suggests both a group around a campfire, and the minstrel circle. Our own familiar JOHNNY REB is standing in the middle.
Were you there at Shiloh,
Bloody Shiloh?
Will you remember Shiloh
Until the day you die?
The flowers of the forest were fallen and trampled
In the first taste of war that some of them sampled.
And somewhere the girls that they left behind them
Are speaking their names, but their names won’t find them.
We were there at Shiloh,
Bloody Shiloh,
We will remember Shiloh
Until the day we die.
And somewhere our own girls are waiting for us
But we must avenge the flowers of the forest.
And we won’t come home while their ghosts walk near us
And we say to their ghosts, if their ghosts can hear us
We’ll still keep fighting every weary mile, oh
And still keep faith with the dead of Shiloh.
I was there at Shiloh
Bloody Shiloh,
I will remember Shiloh
Until the day I die.
Â
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DIALOGUE 5.
MR. TAMBO and MR. BONES back in from opposite sides of the stage. THEY bump into each other at center and run off frightenedly. THEY stop at the sides and peer at one another.
BONES
Why, it’s Mr. Tambo!
TAMBO
Why, it’s Mr. Bones! What are you all doing in this neck of the woods?
BONES
I’m a working man now, Mr. Tambo. I is in the employ of Mr. Allen J Pinkerton.
TAMBO
You don’t say … That’s very grand … Who is Mr. Allen J. Pinkerton?
BONES
Mr. Allen J. Pinkerton is no less than the chief spy-catcher of the U.S. Government, and he’s spy-catchin’ around here somewhere right now!
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR sleuths on past them. THEY fall in behind him)
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
(Mysteriously)
Hist! Is someone following me?
BONES
(Loudly)
Yassah! We all’s followin’ you.
TAMBO
What for you creepin’ slow and stealthy, Mr. Interlocutor?
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Hush! I am now Allen J. Pinkerton and there’s trouble brewing! One mile from this spot, not half an hour ago, a veiled lady was seen lurking in a suspicious manner. It is believed she is none other than Miss Isabella Boyd!
BONES
Miss Isabella Boyd!
TAMBO
Who-all dat, Mr. Interpinkerton?
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
A female fiend in human form, the arch-spy of the Confederacy! Pray God I unmask her before it is too late! Hush! I hear footsteps .. Leave me!
(TAMBO and BONES tiptoe off. The curtains part and MR INTERLOCUTOR hides in the scenery)
10. THE BALLAD OF BELLE BOYD
A landscape with trees. Downstage left, an Inn with an exposed wall and a YANKEE GENERAL (played by the CHARACTER ACTOR) seated at a desk.
THREE GIRLS rush on excitedly.
SOUTHERN GIRLS
Belle Boyd is back in town
Belle Boyd is back in town
Oh goodness, me
What’s gonna happen next!
Belle Boyd is back in town
Belle Boyd is back in town
She’s back in town
And nobody suspects!
Belle Boyd is busily employed
In spying for the rebels
But the Pinkerton men will be after her again
As sure as God made little pebbles.
Belle Boyd, you’d best beware
A Pinkerton is here — stay clear of him.
Belle Boyd you’d best take care
He’ll hang you from a sour apple limb.
But Belle Boyd cannot be annoyed
With the Pinkerton man and his capers
For she’s on the trail and she’s wearing her veil
And she’s got the important papers.
Belle Boyd is coming now.
Oh, my, I just adore Belle Boyd, don’t you?
Belle Boyd is coming now
She’s coming now and guess what she will do!
(THEY run off. BELLE BOYD, played by the COMEDIENNE, glides through the blasted heath. SHE is very ‘mysterioso’ and thrilled by it all)
BELLE BOYD
I spy! I spy!
I find it’s easy as pie
Though I’m svelte and I’m slim and I never look mussed,
I’ve a whole filing system within my false bust.
I spy! I spy!
I just couldn’t stop if I try
But now that you ask me I can’t think why
I guess I just love to spy.
(Two furtive CONFEDERATE SOLDIERS appear. SHE collars them. THEY quake. SHE sees who THEY are and releases them)
SOLDIERS
It’s the witching hour by the old watch tower
We’ve come most faithfully on your hour.
BELLE BOYD
Stonewall Jackson is waiting, you know
He hasn’t heard from me since Tuesday or so.
(SHE produces yards of paper from her bosom)
Carry this to him.
SOLDIERS
Through all that snow?
BELLE BOYD
Carry this to him.
SOLDIERS
It’s raining, you know.
BELLE BOYD
He hasn’t heard from me since Tuesday or so
Oh, carry this to him through rain and snow.
SOLDIERS
Oh, no, no. You go
Through all this rain
And through all that snow.
BELLE BOYD
What did you say?
SOLDIERS
Oh, no, no. You go!
BELLE BOYD
Oh, good. I hoped you would say that
I’ll carry this to him
Through rain and snow.
(SHE stuffs the reams of paper back into her bosom. THE SOLDIERS go off, too.The PINKERTON MAN has been onstage through all this — behind one of the trees. HE slinks forward as SHE slinks off)
PINKERTON MAN
I’m a Pinkerton man, and I do what I can
Apprehending all skullduggery
Through the night I prowl
Like a sapient owl
And I look for hugger-muggery.
I am clever and wise and I’ve got sharp eyes
And my neck is long and rubbery.
When I’ve disappeared under my false beard
You can’t tell me from the shrubbery.
I will follow the spy with a gleam in my eye.
And I’ll foil her plan like a Pinkerton Man.
(HE sleuths off.)
PANTOMIME:
The PINKERTON MAN chases BELLE BOYD through rain and snow.
The THREE GIRLS reappear and run along with BELLE BOYD as THEY sing)
SOUTHERN GIRLS
Belle Boyd, Where have you been?
Some Yankee generals are quartered at the inn
A secret meeting’s going to begin.
Belle Boyd, we love you so
There’s something you should know
Their room has an empty room above it.
(The PINKERTON MAN is so interested HE has his head practically at their mouths. THEY refuse to notice him and when HE has heard all HE wants to HE tiptoes off)
BELLE BOYD
I love that empty room above it
I couldn’t be gladder
Where’s my saw,
Where’s my ladder?
(The lights come up on the Inn. BELLE BOYD places her ladder against it and climbs up onto the roof, and proceeds to gaily saw a hale through it.
The PINKERTON MAN slinks into the room and while HE sings to the bearded GENERAL who is sitting at the desk, HE takes his hat, cloak and the false beard from his face and puts it on, finally pushing the astonished GENERAL out the door)
PINKERTON MAN
I am a Pinkerton ‘tec
And I am right on deck.
I’m in this place on a dandy case.
If you will be compliable
The trap I’ll spring, the spy will swing
As high as a knot is tieable,
(BELLE BOYD has finished her sawing; SHE removes the section of the ceiling and lightly jumps down into the PINKERTON MAN’s awaiting arms)
PINKERTON MAN
Pardon? Ma’am, don’t mind if I stare.
I didn’t notice you sitting up there!
(HE puts her down)
BELLE BOYD
General, I dropped in informally
I do not do this sort of thing normally.
But I saw you through the transom
Looking tall and dark and handsome
And I simply couldn’t resist
The chance of having a private tryst.
PINKERTON MAN
Sherry wine?
BELLE BOYD
Don’t mind if I do
PINKERTON MAN
An Educator biscuit?
BELLE BOYD
You must have one, too.
PINKERTON MAN
Ma’am, if I can make so free,
Would you care to step into a dance with me?
BELLE BOYD
Why, certainly.
PINKERTON MAN
Swing your partner, do-si-do!
BELLE BOYD
Do you reverse?
PINKERTON MAN
I never quite know.
Kick up your heels and cut up capers.
BELLE BOYD
But how can you dance
With your hands full o’ papers?
(SHE tries to take them, but HE slaps her hands. SHE pauses a moment, not knowing how to react and then decides to smile and forgive him)
When I saw you through the transom
Looking tall and dark and handsome
Then I simply couldn’t resist
The chance of having a private tryst.
(THEY start to dance and BELLE BOYD keeps trying to get the papers and stuff them in her bosom, but each time SHE is foiled by the PINKERTON MAN. Finally, HE flashes his badge, tears off his beard, (which is later retrieved by the GENERAL who puts it back on) tosses his hat off and seizes her wrist)
PINKERTON MAN
Look who I am? Surprise! Surprise!
I’m only a general in disguise!
I was a Pinkerton all the while!
BELLE BOYD
Really, sir! How low and vile!
PINKERTON MAN
Hurrah! Hurrah! The spy is caught!
BELLE BOYD
I only did as a good spy ought!
PINKERTON MAN
General, General, quickly come!
BELLE BOYD
Huzzah! I spurn the Northern scum!
(The GENERAL, the TWO SOLDIERS (now in blue uniform jackets) and the THREE GIRLS rush on)
PINKERTON MAN
Take her under a sour-apple tree!
Bring a rope that is stout as stout can be!
Tie it tight round her lily-white neck!
BELLE BOYD
I’m not scared of you one speck!
PINKERTON MAN
Just in case that the rope breaks through,
Bring a firing squad and shoot her, too!
Either way, in the sod she’ll lie!
BELLE BOYD
Very well, I’m ready to die.
I’m ready to die for Dixie
GENERAL, SOLDIERS AND GIRLS
She’s ready to die for Dixie.
PINKERTON MAN
Are the bullets ready?
Is the noose tied good?
GENERAL
Really, sir, as if I could?
GENERAL AND SOLDIERS
Really sir! As if we would!
That’s not the way we treat
Pure Southern Womanhood!
(ALL but BELLE and PINKERTON MAN kneel. The GENTLEMEN remove their hats)
GENERAL, SOLDIERS AND GIRLS
Hail, Womanhood!
The star that lights our murk!
Hail, Womanhood!
God’s noblest handiwork!
(As HE sings, the GENERAL snatches his papers from MR. PINKERTON and turns his back on him)
BELLE BOYD
I am sorry.
GENERAL
That I see.
Do not worry,
You are free.
BELLE BOYD and GENERAL
Unharmed, unsmirched and unsoiled!
PINKERTON MAN
Curses! I am foiled!
(HE slinks back)
BOYS and GENERAL
And now that this little adventure is through,
Oh, what will become of you?
Where will you go? What will you do?
BELLE BOYD
I dunno .
Yes, I do!
I’ll spy … I’ll spy …
ENSEMBLE
She’ll spy.
(At the curtain, BELLE is stealing the papers from the enraptured General while the PINKERTON MAN comes forward and examines them through his magnifying glass. Curtain)
11. ‘MANCIPATION
The lights come up in front of the curtain as TAMBO pushes on a platform with bales of cotton on it, and MR. BONES stretched out lazily on the bales.
MANDA, a slave woman, walks on carrying a cotton-picking basket. SHE is played by the CONTRALTO SOLOIST who played HARRIET TUBMAN in the earlier scene.
The following scene is played with giggling good-natured disbelief.
BONES
Good morning, Manda, have you heard what’s new?
They’re gonna ‘mancipate me and you.
MANDA
Oh, Lord, whoever hear tell of such.
When they ‘mancipate me will it hurt very much?
TAMBO
When you are ‘mancipated, from what I heard
You’ll be as free as a little old bird.
MANDA
From what I seen and from where I sit,
Though I may be free, I may not notice it.
Can I meet anybody, anyone I want to meet?
Can I ride in a train, riding in the best front seat?
Can I walk into town and go to a theater show
And sit like a queen in the very, very, very front row?
TAMBO and BONES
I’m ‘mancipated
I’m ‘mancipated
I’m ‘mancipated
They shout to beat the band.
I’m ‘mancipated
I’m ‘mancipated
MANDA
But will ‘mancipation bring the Promised Land?
Oh, Mister Bones would you please look at me.
I’m ‘mancipated now as I can be.
BONES
Oh, Lordy, Manda, but you look so new
I would never have guessed it was really you.
MANDA
Oh, Mister Tambo ain’t it glorious
What ‘mancipation’s gonna mean for us
TAMBO
Oh, Manda you jes’ ain’t seen nothin’
Till you see how ‘mancipated we kin get.
MANDA
Can I eat in a cafe any time I choose?
Can I sit at a table, a table that the white folks use?
Can I go to a college so that I will know how
To cast me the vote that I cannot cast right now?
TAMBO and BONES
I’m ‘mancipated
I’m ‘mancipated
I’m ‘mancipated
Or so I understand.
I’m ‘mancipated
I’m ‘mancipated
MANDA
But will ‘mancipation bring the Promised Land?
BONES
Can I earn my own money? Can I own my own land?
TAMBO
Can I find me a job any place I reach my hand?
MANDA
Can I build me a house on the right side of the track
So I’ll live like a person and not in any old shack?
TAMBO and BONES
I’m ‘mancipated
I’m ‘mancipated
I’m ‘mancipated
MANDA
I shout to beat the band.
TAMBO and BONES
I’m ‘mancipated
I’m ‘mancipated
MANDA
‘mancipation’s gonna bring the Promised Land.
(As MANDA goes off, BONES jumps back on the bales of cotton and TAMBO pushes the bales and BONES offstage.)
12. THIS ISN’T A GENTLEMAN’S WAR
(A cannon shot is heard off-stage and MR. INTERLOCUTOR limps before the curtain in the uniform of a Southern General)
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
When I went off to war I was gallant
As a hero by Sir Walter Scott.
Though I had no particular talent
Still my blood was heroically hot!
I was reckless and ruthless and dashing
And I smartly would dart in the fray.
When my saber went flashing and dashing
Still I treated the foe with fair play!
But I found from the very beginning
The way some chaps behave is a shame
For they seem to care more about winning
Then they do about playing the game!
This isn’t a gentleman’s war any more,
This isn’t a gentleman’s war any more.
When they see that an enemy’s tumbled
They don’t help him back on his horse,
But they shoot him right there where he stumbled
Which I think is both callous and coarse.
They don’t fight as Lord Chesterfield might any more
And they don’t try to keep it polite any more.
If that Sir Walter Scott
Could be here on the spot
He would find many things to deplore!
This isn’t a gentleman’s war any more.
Those machines they think up every minute
Well, I must say it’s really too much.
For how can a man put his heart in it
When a war hasn’t that human touch.
Now that Merrimac thing, it is vulgar
And the Monitor fills me with rage.
If they’d turned up like that at Trafalgar
They’d have both been hissed right off the stage.
And those boats that attack from down under
I consider both lowly and mean.
I was glad when that cad made a blunder
And he blew up his own submarine!
This isn’t a gentleman’s war any more,
This isn’t a gentleman’s war any more.
Only Friday, while serving as sentry
And addressing some lines to the moon
I was shot in my tent’s very entry
By a bounder up in a balloon!
There are things that go off with a band and a roar
Till a human don’t matter a hang any more.
I am sure that the lads
Who think up these doo-dads
Simply can’t be out of the top drawer.
This isn’t a gentleman’s war any more
(He does a soft shoe dance)
Now, one day I fell down in a skirmish
With my toes pointing up to the sky
And a man I can only call wormish
Came and pinched both my boots on the sly!
When I woke I was there in my stockings
All exposed to the general view!
But the thing that is even more shocking’s
What I found even me stooping to!
For the next thing I know I was pinching
Both the shoes off the corpse on my right
I can’t think of it now without flinching
It was horrid! What’s more, they’re too tight!
(He takes his shoes off and sighs with relief)
This isn’t a gentleman’s war any more,
This isn’t a gentleman’s war any more.
(He prances around the stage, shoeless, and dances off with a flourish)
13. THE CONTRABAND BALL
(The performers come cake-walking on in couples. The COMEDIENNE on the arm of the CHARACTER ACTOR, the SOUTHERN GIRL with BILLY YANK, TAMBO and BONES with two pretty BLACK GIRLS for their partners, and the rest of the SINGERS, Black and White, two by two.
At the end of the dance THEY are all in position in the Minstrel Circle — with the COMEDIENNE in the central position — and THEY all sit except for the COMEDIENNE who comes forward as SHE starts to sing)
Oh, General Ben Butler is a beast in human guise.
He captured our New Orl’ans and he took us by surprise!
And now we’re in his power he’s commanded one and all
To come and dance this evenin’ at a Contraband Ball.
(The SOUTHERN GIRL and the WHITE FEMALE CHORUS rise and come forward)
SOUTHERN GIRL
With those low-down Yankee soldiers
GIRLS
With those low-down Yankee soldiers
COMEDIENNE
With those low-down Yankee soldiers
And that’s not all!
In the same room with the colored folks!
SOUTHERN GIRL and the GIRLS
The same room with the colored folks!
COMEDIENNE
The same room with the colored folks!
That’s all! That’s all!
(The COMEDIENNE and her contingent return to their seats as TAMBO and BONES rise and come forward)
BONES
Oh, we went a-struttin’ down the Vieux Carre
Till we met some pretty girls and what did I say?
TAMBO
Got a tickle in my feet I hear that banjo call
Let us dance all night at the Contraband Ball.
(Two BLACK GIRLS rise and come forward and THEY re-enact the meeting)
GIRLS
Said the pretty girl don’t mind if I do.
Got to dance with somebody so why not you?”
TAMBO, BONES and GIRLS
So let’s walk around down to Liberty Hall
And we’ll dance all night at the Contraband Ball.
(The OTHER BLACKS rise and walk around with them. The BLACKS turn and see the WHITES staring at them. THEY all turn back)
BLACKS
See them white folks sittin’ there
Ain’t they fine and don’t they stare?
Won’t them white folks make a fuss
Dancin’ in a room with us?
BONES
I don’t mind what white folks do
I want to dance
TAMBO
I want to, too!
But when I see them white folks frown
I’ll go way back and sit me down.
TAMBO, BONES and BLACK CHORUS
Let’s go way back and sit down
Let’s go way back and sit down.
(As the BLACKS sit, BILLY YANK and the SOLDIERS rise and speak to the WHITE GIRLS)
BILLY YANK
Oh, General Ben Butler issued orders to us all
To come and be your escorts at the Contraband Ball
COMEDIENNE
Well, you can tell your General in the present circumstance
We may be forced to sit here but we won’t, we won’t dance!
For if colored folk come bustin’
It’s disgustin’
GIRLS
It’s disgustin’
COMEDIENNE
I’m not one for readjustin’
My ideas at all
GIRLS
White and black associatin’
It’s an idea straight from Satan
COMEDIENNE and GIRLS
That’s all!
SOLDIERS
It is most exasperatin’
To be left here standin’ waitin’
BILLY YANK
But they’re not capitulatin’
To this Ball, at all!
SOLDIERS
Still the way our order’s written
It distinctly says “No quittin”
BILLY YANK
So we’ll do our waitin’ sittin’
At this Ball
SOLDIERS
That’s all!
(The SOLDIERS and BILLY YANK return to the circle. EVERYBODY is seated as the music plays. THEY all want to dance but try to control themselves from jumping onto the dance-floor. ONE or TWO do rush forward and start to dance but OTHERS rush up and pull them back to their seats)
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR enters and observes the strange behaviour)
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
What’s gone wrong, for goodness’ sake?
Is this a party or a wake?
What’s the use of having a Ball
If nobody will dance at all?
COMEDIENNE
We don’t like your Ball a bit!
Since we must, we’ve come to it,
But white and colored do not fit!
WHITE GIRLS
We won’t dance. We’ll sit!
COMEDIENNE
We’ll sit!
BILLY YANK and SOLDIERS
We’ve not made a social hit!
TAMBO, BONES and BLACKS
We got scared and we done quit So we sit!
COMEDIENNE and GIRLS
And we just sit.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
I’m not mad at anyone!
I aim to have a bit of fun!
Let’s forget our color
And our quarrel for a bit.
When you hear that music playing
How can you just sit?
(HE dances around the stage as HE sings)
Oh, Miss Walkaround
Come walkin’ round with me
The fiddles are in rhythm
So get with ’em
One, two, three!
Since you must be here
Why simply sit an’ frown
Why not walk around
And around!
(The COMEDIENNE talks to the CHARACTER ACTOR as MR. INTERLOCUTOR CAKEWALKS ABOUT THE STAGE)
COMEDIENNE
What a charmin’ way of speakin’
Oh, I must admit I weaken.
It may be treason but I don’t care
I’m gonna dance! C’est la guerre! So there!
(The CHARACTER ACTOR has been trying to stop her from dancing but SHE eludes him and rushes up to join MR. INTERLOCUTOR. As BONES starts to sing the CHARACTER ACTOR ostentatiously walks out past the COMEDIENNE, who is cakewalking about with MR. INTERLOCUTOR. HE exudes disapproval as HE walks off-stage)
BONES
See them walk around
If they can., so can we
BILLY YANK
(To the SOUTHERN GIRL)
Miss if you are free
Please walk around with me
SOUTHERN GIRL
Billy, take my hand
I can’t stay sittin’ down
TAMBO
Let’s all walk around
And round and round and round.
(TAMBO and BONES have brought forward the TWO BLACK GIRLS they danced with previously and now THEY form an octet in front with MR. INTERLOCUTOR and the COMEDIENNE, and the SOUTHERN GIRL and BILLY YANK)
OCTET
Oh, Miss (Mister) Walkaround
Come walkin’ round tonight
The fiddles will be singin’
While we’re swingin’
Left an’ right.
Got my (your) best suit
And you’re (I’m) in your (my) low-cut gown
So let’s walk around and around.
(The CHORUS PEOPLE are now impelled to join in)
BLACK MEN
Though to dance may take some grit,
We cant just sit! We can’t just sit!
BLACK WOMEN
Wait a bit, boys, wait a bit!
We got to git right into it!
SOLDIERS
Now that you are used to it
Won’t you submit and dance a bit?
GIRLS
Though we all are in a snit
We’d like to dance we must admit.
(The ENTIRE COMPANY dance and sing)
ENSEMBLE
Oh, Miss Walkaround
Start swingin’ wide your hoops.
The sweetheart of the regiment
The darling of the troops
Show New Orl’ans we can really cover ground
When we walk around and around.
Dancin’ in the moonlight
Sleepin’ in the sun
Gonna walk around
Until tonight is down!
Steamboat up the river,
Rowboat up the creek.
Still be walkin’ round
Till this time next week.
Mister Walkaround
Come walkin’ if you will.
We’ll set the room a-swingin’,
Buck-and-wingin’ fit to kill.
Nothing’s ever gonna kill this grand old town
It’ll still walk round and a-round.
Walk around!
CURTAIN
(End of Act I)
ACT II
14. GENTLEMEN, BE SEATED
The curtain rises quickly revealing the Minstrel Circle which is now occupied only by MR. INTERLOCUTOR and TAMBO and BONES at the ends. The rest of the cast is furiously involved in a battle which tears back and forth across the stage. In its movements, the battle resembles an acrobatic tumbling act. Soldiers are doing cartwheels across the stage; the gun butts are used for supports for vaulting. The nurses who dash furiously around the battlefield, find themselves, every now and then, being swung in the air by fleeing or fighting soldiers. Through all this, Mr. INTERLOCUTOR gallantly keeps singing his song about a Peace Conference and every now and then is interrupted by the battle which catches him up and flings him about. After each battering he returns to his song while TAMBO and BONES watch silently.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Gentlemen, be seated;
Ladies, be still!
Ain’t you sick o’ fihtin’?
Ain’t you had your fill?
Quarrels may be catching,
Wear a smile not a frown.
Ladies, please, no scratching!
Gentlemen, DOWN!
Murder still is homicide
Even when it’s self defense.
Cast your nasty bombs aside
And let’s have a peace conference.
We needn’t get in rages
If perhaps we disagree.
This ain’t the Middle ages,
This is eighteen sixty three!
Gentlemen be seated!
Ladies, less noise!
Where’s your self control at?
Ain’t you got no poise.
We’ve had enough of gore,
now it’s time to look ahead.
And stop this whole darn war
before we’re more or less all dead!
Gentlemen be quiet
What’s all the shouting for?
Gentlemen, be civil.
Ain’t this a Civil War?
DIALOGUE 6.
TAMBO, BONES and BANJO are downstage. The scrim behind them is a scene on the banks of the Potomac with Washington D.C. in the background across the River. TAMBO and BONES both have on Union Army jackets.
TAMBO
Mr. Bones, this is the funniest thing I ever did see.
BONES
What’s funny, Mr. Tambo? You is gonna be a soldier and that ain’t funny.
TAMBO
I think it is. Here they go draftin’ all us colored persons to join a white army that’s been sittin’ around Washington without moving for nearly a year.
BONES
Mr. Tambo, you are being honored. You are being allowed to fight in defense of your country.
TAMBO
Well I’m joined, but I is half-hearted. Like did you ever see two dogs fightin’ over a bone?
BONES
Certainly, Mr. Tambo.
TAMBO
Did you ever see the bone get up and fight? Well, in this hyar contention I is de bone. An’ I is reluctant to take sides.
BONES
Don’t worry, Mr. Tambo, it’s a soft life. No battles. No victories. Jes’ soldierin’
Top
15. ALL QUIET ON THE POTOMAC
TAMBO
Oh, it’s quiet on the Potomac tonight.
It’s so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
If a pin would drop round here
Folks’d scream and hold their ears
It’s so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
BONES
Oh, it’s quiet on the Potomac tonight
There’s no riot on the Potomac tonight.
See that turtle strollin’ past.
‘pared to us, man, that boy’s fast.
It’s so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBO
Mister Lincoln’s army
Is tough and rough and ready
Our guns go bang, our bullets whizz,
Our hands are strong and steady
Our blood is up, we want to fight
If a fight they would provide us
But we haven’t got a General to guide us.
(As THEY describe them, a series of cutouts move across the stage in front of the curtain. They should all be caricatures of the typical military or equestrian monuments. For instance: the statue of Joe Hooker can show him being hit on the head by a beam in the doorway of the house in Chancellorsville; Scott being helped on a horse, etc. As THEY sing, TAMBO and BONES dance around the statues.)
BONES
Fuss and Feathers Winfield Scott was made our top man.
But that Winfield Scott has slowed down to a stop, man. Once his fist was fierce with force
Now he can’t get on a horse
So it’s quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBO
Oh, McClellan’s head was full of schemes and visions.
But McClellan couldn’t seem to make decisions.
When we might have licked the foes
Poor McClellan got the slows!
So it’s quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBO and BONES
Old Brains Halleck thought too much.
John Pope was rash and headstrong.
And Burnside lacked the leader’s touch.
Joe Hooker led, but led wrong.
We could go on listing eight or nine or ten or all!
What the Union Army needs is a General.
Oh, it’s quiet on the Potomac tonight.
It’s so quiet on the Potomac tonight
We don’t fight because we can’t
Where the Hell is U.S. Grant!
It’s so quiet on the Potomac tonight
(The lights start to fade on the Six Generals as they move off)
It’s so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
(TAMBO and BONES mouth the words silently as the orchestra plays the tune for “It’s so quiet,” etc. and THEY tip-toe off)
15. ALL QUIET ON THE POTOMAC
TAMBO
Oh, it’s quiet on the Potomac tonight.
It’s so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
If a pin would drop round here
Folks’d scream and hold their ears
It’s so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
BONES
Oh, it’s quiet on the Potomac tonight
There’s no riot on the Potomac tonight.
See that turtle strollin’ past.
‘pared to us, man, that boy’s fast.
It’s so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBO
Mister Lincoln’s army
Is tough and rough and ready
Our guns go bang, our bullets whizz,
Our hands are strong and steady
Our blood is up, we want to fight
If a fight they would provide us
But we haven’t got a General to guide us.
(As THEY describe them, a series of cutouts move across the stage in front of the curtain. They should all be caricatures of the typical military or equestrian monuments. For instance: the statue of Joe Hooker can show him being hit on the head by a beam in the doorway of the house in Chancellorsville; Scott being helped on a horse, etc. As THEY sing, TAMBO and BONES dance around the statues.)
BONES
Fuss and Feathers Winfield Scott was made our top man.
But that Winfield Scott has slowed down to a stop, man. Once his fist was fierce with force
Now he can’t get on a horse
So it’s quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBO
Oh, McClellan’s head was full of schemes and visions.
But McClellan couldn’t seem to make decisions.
When we might have licked the foes
Poor McClellan got the slows!
So it’s quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBO and BONES
Old Brains Halleck thought too much.
John Pope was rash and headstrong.
And Burnside lacked the leader’s touch.
Joe Hooker led, but led wrong.
We could go on listing eight or nine or ten or all!
What the Union Army needs is a General.
Oh, it’s quiet on the Potomac tonight.
It’s so quiet on the Potomac tonight
We don’t fight because we can’t
Where the Hell is U.S. Grant!
It’s so quiet on the Potomac tonight
(The lights start to fade on the Six Generals as they move off)
It’s so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
(TAMBO and BONES mouth the words silently as the orchestra plays the tune for “It’s so quiet,” etc. and THEY tip-toe off)
16. THE BALLAD OF STONEWALL JACKSON
A group of CONFEDERATE SOLDIERS are seated on the gilt chairs in the minstrel circle. JOHNNY REB stands in the center.
JOHNNY REB and THE MEN
Stonewall Jackson sucked lemons all day and night
Till they called him Old Lemon Squeezer.
Oh, but when it came to winning in a fight
He could lick old Julius Caesar!
His stomach was dyspeptic and his looks were plain
And he never would march on a Sunday
But when it came to planning a campaign
He could gain thirty miles in one day!
But as he lay a-dying
The last few words he said were these
“Let’s cross over the river
And rest under the shade of the trees.”
“Mystify; mislead and surprise,” he said
“That’s the way to trap the foeman,”
And he made up his plans right out of his head
And he told his plans to no man.
All around the Valley he marched his troops
Until nobody knew what was cooking
Then he took half an army in a single swoop
Turning up where you’d least be looking.
But as he lay a-dying
The last few words he said were these
“Let’s cross over the river
And rest under the shade of the trees.”
But at Chancellorsville, oh at Chancellorsville
There the bright god of chance forgot him
And by an error on the moon-swept hill
Some one of his own men shot him.
And at Chancellorsville, oh at Chancellorsville
All flags at half-mast went a-flying
And all hearts were heavy and all thoughts were still
For Stonewall lay a-dying.
And the angels of Heaven came flying in a troop
With their gold wings beating o’er them
But he executed a swift flanking swoop
and he got to Heaven before them
And now when the black clouds crowd the sky
And the bang of the thunder fills them
All the angels of Heaven go marching up high
And old Stonewall Jackson drills them.
He’s crossed over the river
And rests under the shade of the trees
He’s crossed over the river
And rests under the shade of the trees.
17 MR. BRADY TAKES A PHOTOGRAPH
MR. BRADY’s photographic wagon comes on propelled by the human horse used in “PICNIC AT MANASSAS.” It is driven by MR. BRADY’S ASSISTANT
(played by the CHARACTER ACTOR). MR. BRADY is played by MR. INTERLOCUTOR.
ASSISTANT
Mister Brady we’re getting near.
I can see Cemetery Hill appear.
(MR. BRADY pokes his head out of the wagon)
MR. BRADY
Gettysburg Battlefield
That’s the address.
ASSISTANT
Mister Brady, we’re here, I guess.
(MR. BRADY erupts out of the wagon)
MR. BRADY
Get the wet-plates, get the cables
Get the rear camera snood
ASSISTANT
Whoa
MR. BRADY
Get the apparatus ready
In the right attitude,
ASSISTANT
Yes, sir.
MR. BRADY
While I get in the mood.
(MR. BRADY frames the scene with his hands — thumbs touching — as HE starts to sing)
I’m Matthew B. Brady the camera man.
The camera man, the camera man.
When this war began I had a marvellous plan
I had a marvellous plan.
Why not photo in toto each vital event
And a spirit in my feet said “Go” and I went
Doo-dle-oo doo-dle-oo
Doo-dle-oo and I went.
In my white linen duster and my little straw hat
My little straw hat, my little straw hat
Mid the rattle of the battle’s where I’m us’ally at
That’s where I’m us’ally at.
And I haul my apparatus all around the map
And each time I take a picture, why it’s a snap
Doo-dle-oo doo-dle-oo
Doo-dle-oo it’s a snap.
(The ASSISTANT brings out a bunch of equipment)
ASSISTANT
Here Mr. Brady.
MR. BRADY
I invented all these!
ASSISTANT
There Mr. Brady
(HE brings out more equipment)
MR. BRADY
And I patented these!
Is the dark room ready so there isn’t a chink
ASSISTANT
Yes, sir.
MR. BRADY
Then go get the horse a drink.
ASSISTANT
Yes, sir!
MR. BRADY
While I think.
(MR. BRADY gets into a thinking pose, so does the horse. The ASSISTANT unloosens the Horse from the cart)
I’m Matthew B. Brady as I said before
They call me the Da Vinci of this here war!
So if you’d be a hero just drop me a hint
And I will catch you doing it in mezzo-tint.
Today in Pennsylvania I’m on location
The President is speaking in commemoration
To take him while he talks will be my greatest success
So right now Gettysburg is my address.
(As HE rushes about placing equipment, planning photograph etc., MISS DOROTHEA DIX — the COMEDIENNE — marches on. SHE sees BRADY and stops in her tracks. SHE is followed by FOUR NURSES marching single file. THEY do not stop but march into her and continue across the stage. THEY are carrying the paraphernalia of their profession a rolled-up stretcher, packages of gauze, bandages, etc.)
DOROTHEA DIX
Ladies! Ladies! Please! Halt! At ease.
NURSES
Can it be?
DOROTHEA DIX
Yes, it can!
NURSES
Yes, it can!
DOROTHEA DIX
It is Mr. Brady the camera man.
Mr. Brady, would you allow me
MR. BRADY
Yes?
DOROTHEA DIX
To present myself?
DOROTHEA DIX and NURSES
Miss Dorothea Dix.
(As HE answers her, MR. BRADY ogles the GIRLS, waves his fingers at them, etc.)
MR. BRADY
Howdy-do Miss Dix
And you cute little trix,
I am here to take the President’s photograph.
DOROTHEA DIX
But first let’s have a chat,
There’ll be lots of time for that
(On the word that” SHE waves vaguely in the direction of the speaker’s stand)
Mister Everett’s been speaking for two hours and a half.
(SHE has him by the arm, HE cannot escape her)
Now let me see … Oh, yes!
I saw the war and found it
Much to messy and ill-planned
Simply begging for the touch
Of a well-bred woman’s hand.
The battles were untidy
And the weapons weren’t clean.
The nurses all were nothing but …
You know what I mean.
So, I went to the Senate
And I went to the House
And I told them exactly what I would do.
NURSES
And the Senate said “No”.
And the House said “No”.
DOROTHEA DIX
But I said *11 will, I will, I will, too!”
And I nagged at the Senate
And I nagged at the House
And I made a fearful, fearful fuss.
NURSES
Till the Senate gave in
And the House gave in!
And now just look …
Just look at us!
DOROTHEA DIX
I’m proud to introduce you to the Ladies Nursing Corps. All set to turn this shambles to a Sanitary War!
(WITH one arm aloft, SHE parades triumphantly about the stage)
MR. BRADY
Int’resting if true, Mam.
What am I supposed to do, Mam?
DOROTHEA DIX
Why, take my photograph for publication.
MR. BRADY
Very well, I’ll take one,
But quick, let’s get it done.
The President is due now
At the station.
(MR. BRADY reverses the position of his camera to photograph MISS DIX and the GIRLS)
DOROTHEA DIX
Now just where should I sit?
I frankly will admit
That now the time has come
I feel quite flustered
Perhaps to ease my mind
The girls should stand behind
But should they pose in rows
Or loosely clustered?
(Having set up his camera, MR. BRADY rushes over to pose the GIRLS. THEY are giggly, and HE is flirtatious)
DOROTHEA DIX MR. BRADY
To leave a lovely home Now you stand here,
And you stand here,
And be a nurse and roam And you, stand over there.
No, you stand here
At first might fill a And you stand here
lady’s heart with fears And you — let me think where.
But now we’re organized
I shouldn’t be surprised
If we should stay this way for years and years.
And never ever go home again.
(MR. BRADY looks off to the speakers platform)
MR. BRADY
Is that the President coming from the train?
DOROTHEA DIX
Isn’t he plain?
Where was I? oh yes.
(MISS DIX continues to carol away as the GIRLS start chattering among themselves)
DOROTHEA DIX
(Continued) MR. BRADY Nurse
Perhaps you think us rude
To appear so nearly nude Buzz buzz buzz buzz
Right out in public Buzz buzz buzz buzz
Without any hoops Stand still Buzz buzz buzz buzz
Keep quiet Buzz buzz buzz buzz
But nurses three yards wide
Can’t get into their Stride See the Birdie!!
And crinolines kept tripping up the troops
So that is why, you find us in such flat form.
(MR. BRADY, bulb in hand and very exasperated, is trying to take the picture. As his shouting gets the GIRLS’ attention, HE suddenly turns toward the platform)
MR. BRADY
Is that the President mounting to the platform?
DOROTHEA DIX
He’s downright homely!
Where was I? oh yes
(MR. BRADY turns his camera to face the speakers’ stand. MISS DIX marches over, resolutely, and reverses it. THEY keep reversing the camera as SHE continues to sing. MR. BRADY is getting frenzied)
I started this idea
NURSES
You did, Miss Dorothea
DOROTHEA DIX
That nursing could be done by real ladies.
I had a good start on
That upstart Clara Barton
Then Clara started in,
And it’s been Hades!
MR. BRADY
(Explodes)
And strong men have been mangled
When the diff’rent nurses tangled
With cries of “He belongs to me!
No me! No me!”
DOROTHEA DIX
(Rebukingly)
Really, Mr. Brady!
Really, Mr. Brady!
(The ASSISTANT comes tearing out of the wagon)
ASSISTANT
Mr. Brady, the President is starting to go!
(MR. BRADY is dumbstruck as MISS DIX delivers her gentle criticism)
DOROTHEA DIX
He’s a poor elocutionist.
It just goes to show.
Can only talk three minutes;
Not a mite of applause
MR. BRADY
Mister President!!!
(MR. BRADY crumbles to the ground in a dead faint. MISS DIX is enraptured)
DOROTHEA DIX
Now girls, we have a patient, so get out your gauze.
Take his clo’es, chafe his toes, Get him in a gown
Change his sheet! Warm his feet!
Wash him out and rub him down.
(The FOUR GIRLS unroll the stretcher and THEY manhandle MR. BRADY onto it. THEY run around, madly performing nursing chores)
(gently and reasonably)
Ladies, stop!
Mr. Brady did not take our photograph.
We will leave him here for Clara Barton.
Ladies, March!
(THEY dump him unceremoniously out of the stretcher onto the ground and march off, MISS DIX bringing up the rear)
Left, Right
Right, Left
Left, Right
Right, Left
(The HORSE comes galloping in. IT nuzzles MR. BRADY and whispers in his ear. MR. BRADY sits up very suddenly)
MR. BRADY
What did you say?
(THE HORSE whispers to him again)
Are you sure?
(THE HORSE opens his mouth wide and MR BRADY looks down it. HE jumps up from the ground, jubilant)
I’m Matthew P. Brady, you can’t keep me down
You cannot keep me down, cannot keep me down!
I bob up serenely with never a frown
Ev’ry time I fall down!
SO, GIDDY-YUP, Horace, lets get on our way!
I hear General Grant’s gonna battle any day.
Next stop, Richmond will be my address.
I’ll shoot him in the saddle for my greatest success.
(MR. BRADY and the HORSE dance off)
DIALOGUE 7.
TAMBO and BONES come out from opposite sides of the stage, in front of the curtain.
BONES
Well Mr. Tambo … finally, and at last, you has been in a fight!
TAMBO
Had a little taste of it, Mr. Bones.
BONES
Stood your ground, did you?
TAMBO
Nosuh, I runs.
BONES
You runs! At the first fire you runs, did you?
TAMBO
Yassuh, and I would’ve run sooner had I knowed it was comin’
BONES
That wasn’t very creditable to your courage.
TAMBO
Courage ain’t my line. Cookin’s my profession.
BONES
If all soldiers were like you, traitors might have broken up the gov’ment of the United States without resistance.
TAMBO
(Cheerfully)
Yassuh, there would have been no help for it.
BONES
Then patriotism and honor are nothing to you?
TAMBO
Mr. Bones, I regards them as among the vanities.
BONES
Mr. Tambo, you is laboring under a miss-apprehension. The life of one man is a mere nothing in this war. Do you think your company would have missed you? Would your regiment have missed you? Would the army have missed you? Would the gov’ment have missed you?
TAMBO
(Cheerfully)
Maybe not! A dead white man ain’t much to all them people let alone a dead colored man. But I would have missed my-self …
(HE thinks about this for a moment)
Yassuh, I sure would have missed myself.
(The NORTHERN GIRL runs on)
NORTHERN GIRL
Oh, Mr. Tambo, Mr. Bones. Have you seen Captain Billy Yank?
BONES
Last time I seen him, mam, he was down south with Gen’ral Sherman.
(THEY start to leave)
NORTHERN GIRL
Was he alright?
TAMBO
He was just fine, just fine
(As TAMBO and BONES leave SHE calls after them)
NORTHERN GIRL
Will he be home soon?
(SHE turns back to the center of the stage as musical number 18 starts)
Will he be home soon?
Will I know him?
18. I CAN’T REMEMBER
The NORTHERN GIRL sings.
NORTHERN GIRL
I can’t remember–
He’s been away so long …
Was his touch so gentle?
Were his arms so strong?
I can’t remember —
He’s fading from my mind …
But his hair was curly
And his hands were kind!
I make up dreams
I call by his name …
But in my dream
Is he still the same?
Help me remember –
The way it used to be
For if 1 remember
He’ll remember me!
I can’t remember —
His eyes were dark and bright …
Was his smile so friendly?
Was his heart so light?
When I remember
The place where we first met.
Is it he I’m seeing?
Or do I forget?
I still recall
Each word that he said …
Was he so tall?
How proud was his head?
I can’t remember —
But when he’s home again
With his arms around me …
I’ll remember then!
19. FROM ATLANTA TO THE SEA
The stage is bare except for a slight hillock in the center. BILL? YANK marches on, followed by a GROUP OF UNION SOLDIERS
BILLY YANK
We’ve left the city back of us
Ablaze with victory
We’re marchin’ cross the map
An’ headin’ East as East can be
From off the fat of Georgia
We will do our livin’ free
Eatin’ hams and yams an’ porkstead
From Atlanta to the sea!
BILLY and SOLDIERS
We’ll tear the railroad tracks up
And we’ll twist ’em round a tree
Just makin’ Sherman hairpins
For the proud Confed’racy
It’s buckshot for the buckra
But it’s buckwheat cakes for me
As we follow Billy Sherman
From Atlanta to the sea!
FIRST SOLDIER
What’s the next place gonna be
SECOND SOLDIER
All these towns look alike to me
THIRD SOLDIER
Place called Milledgeville, somebody said.
BILLY YANK
What d’ya say we step indoors
And be a bunch of Senators?
That’s the state Capitol just ahead
SOLDIERS
Smash a window with a couple of bricks
And the next you know, we’re in politics.
BILLY YANK
For there’s lots of laws that we aim to fix
SOLDIERS
We may vote yea and we may vote nix.
BILLY YANK
The Georgia legislature
SOLDIERS
The Georgia Legislature
BILLY YANK and SOLDIERS
The Georgia legislature is about to SIT.
(On the word, THEY all sit in a semi-circle with BILLY YANK in the center, and go through the motions of a mock-legislature meeting)
BILLY YANK
Whereas the state of Georgia, walking through which
All f us are half-lame from,
Has seceded frm the Union legislature votes it
Right back where it came from.
SOLDIERS
We agree.
We agree.
We agree.
BILLY YANK and SOLDIERS
Whereas the state of Georgia
Bein’ once more
Part of our great nation,
The slaves in Georgia
Are thereby freed
By comin’ under Mister Lincoln’s proclamation
SOLDIERS
They are freed. They are freed. They are freed.
BILLY YANK
And whereas Jeff Davis has got too big for his britches
SOLDIERS
Big for his britches –
BILLY YANK
And he has been acting too damn superior
SOLDIERS
Too damn superior –
BILLY YANK
A committee is hereby appointed
SOLDIERS
Is appointed –
BILLY YANK
To give him three good kicks in the posterior.
SOLDIERS
Passed unanimous.
Whereas today’s November twenty-third
And it’s Thanksgiving Day
A vote of thanks to Georgia for providin’ us
Free turkey dinner without any delay.
Pass your plates
Pass your plates
Pass your plates
BILLY YANK
But first, or so I’ve heard,
You’ve got to catch your little old bird
(A Turkey Hunt starts with BILLY YANK in command. The whole thing should be done as if it were a military maneuver with BILLY barking out commands and the BOYS yelling as THEY carry them out.
The excitement mounts and reaches its climax in a final “GOT HIM.
A SLAVE WOMAN has come on during the Turkey Hunt and watches the proceedings. The BOYS form into a circle as if preparing the bird. As BILLY YANK is going to crouch with them, HE sees her observing him)
SLAVE WOMAN
Where you marchin’, soldier?
BILLY YANK
From Atlanta to the Sea.
SLAVE WOMAN
What you all come here for?
BILLY YANK
We came here to set you free.
SLAVE WOMAN
I’m free?
BILLY YANK
How about Thanksgiving Dinner?
SLAVE WOMAN
And you would eat with me?
BILLY YANK
Is it white meat or dark meat?
SLAVE WOMAN
Just a drumstick, please, for me.
SLAVE WOMAN BILLY YANK and SOLDIERS
(Together)
Glory be! Ain’t it thrillin’ Let us first
Jubilo, Jubilee! Give thanks to Georgia
All God’s chillum For providin’ dinner free.
Are able an’ willin’ And if poor
To walk in a world Georgia’s hungry
That is free. let her eat unity.
(Across the backdrop, in silhouette, we see a group of starved, tattered, half-dying figures. THEY stagger on.)
BILLY YANK
Who’s that comin’ up the hill?
Are they hurt or are they ill?
SLAVE WOMAN
They were prisoners in Andersonville.
They’re burnin’ with fever
They’re shakin’ with chill
They tasted Hell in Andersonville.
BILLY YANK
What Georgia did to them, boys,
They would do to you or me:
For every starvin’ Yankee
Let us starve out two or three!
BILLY YANK and SOLDIERS
We’re Sherman’s fightin’ army
Of the union infantry
And Sherman’s here to show ’em
Just what Hell a war can be!
We’ll teach the roarin’ rebels
What’s the tune of Unity,
Till we set all Georgia howlin’
From Atlanta to the sea!
SLAVE WOMAN
Can I go along with you?
BILLY YANK
Woman, you can march with me.
Step real lively,
And take me by the hand
SOLDIERS
You can be our mascot
From Atlanta to the sea
SLAVE WOMAN
Blessings on you,
You bright angel band!
BILLY YANK and SOLDIERS
I is joined You have joined
I is joined You have joined
Marchin’ out of Egyptland You have joined
Till I come to Jordan’s shore Sherman’s infantry
And I’se gwine And you’re go’n
Where he’s gwine Where he’s go’n
And I’ll follow Sherman Right on
Goin’ on before. To the sea!!
(Slowly, the BLACKS have entered one at a time and watch the SLAVE WOMAN)
TWO BLACK WOMEN
Woman, where you all ago’n’
SLAVE WOMAN
I is joined the infantry.
Gen’ral Sherman has given me the word.
TWO BLACK MEN
Woman, what you sayin’
Who might Gen’ral Sherman be?
SLAVE WOMAN
He’s the leader that rules all the world.
SLAVE WOMAN and BLACKS
Let us join
Let us join
Just like Moses was before
Gen’ral Sherman’s gonna be
We is go’n’
And he’ll lead us through
That great big old Red Sea.
BILLY YANK and SOLDIERS
We can join. We can join. Come and join.
We can join their company Come and join our company
We can join the infantry. Come and join the infantry
We are go’n’ where you are go’n. And you’re go’n’ where we’re go’ n.
You has come to set us free And we have come to set you free
Like the Preacher said would be Like we said ’twas gonna be
Marchin’ dry-shod through the sea Marchin’ with us to the sea
To where Jordan waits for me. Right from Atlanta to the sea.
SLAVE WOMAN and BLACKS
Glory be! hear the drummin’!
Jubilo Jubilee.
Hearts are hummin’
Cause kingdom is comin’
Is comm’ for you and for me.
Glory be! Ain’t it thrillin’
Jubilo Jubilee
All God’s chillun’
Are able and willin’
To walk a world that is free.
I heard the horn of Mister Gabriel
This very morn there in my bed.
The fatted calf is on the table
And that ain’t half o’ what’s ahead.
Glory be! It’s a promise
With the good Lord’s guarantee
Doubting Thomas
Stay way away from us
Cause there in the sky
What is it that I see?
Don’t you know
Jubilo Jubilee!
BILLY YANK
There’s rebels pressing close now
Just two miles back or three.
We’re running short of food
To feed this whole menagerie.
BLACKS
Jubilo, Jubilee
SOLDIERS
The old Ogeechee River
Goes winding peacefully.
It’s one more step across her
From Atlanta to the sea.
BLACKS
Jubilo, Jubilee
BILLY YANK
Put down your pontoon bridges
As quick as one two three.
They’ve got us in a trap here
Where they wanted us to be
BILLY YANK and SOLDIERS
You’ve got to step aside now
And let the road be free
‘Cause there’s rebel bullets comin’
Hummin’ straight at you and me.
SLAVE WOMAN
That ain’t the old Ogeechee River
Not the way it used to be
That river there is Jordan water
Bringin’ Heaven down to you and to me.
SLAVE WOMAN and BLACKS
The Heaven bells are aringin’
The golden wings are a wingin’
The swingin’ chariot’s swingin’
Bringin’ us to Jubilee.
SLAVE WOMAN and BLACKS BILLY YANK and SOLDIERS
The Heaven bells are aringin’ There’s rebel bullets comm’
The golden wings are awingin’ Hurnmin’ straight at you and me
The swingin’ chariot’s swingin, You got to step aside
Bringin’ us to Jubilee. And let the road be free
The Heaven bells are aringin’ We can’t put our pontoons down
The golden wings are awingin’ Through this howlin’ jamboree
The swingin’ chariot’s swingin’ All this band of contraband’s
Bringin’ us to Jubilee. Gonna get us killed, maybe.
The Heaven bells are aringin’ Stand aside, stand aside, or we’ll
The golden wings are awingin Have to shoot on the count of three.
The swingin’ chariot’s swingin’ Stand aside, stand aside, cause we’re
Bringin’ us to Jubilee. Gonna shoot on the count of three.
Jubilo and Jubilee One!
Jubilo and Jubilee Two!
Three!
(The SOLDIERS fire a volley of shots into the group of Blacks. There is a moment of silence and then, with wild screams, the BLACKS flee off stage. BILLY YANK and THE SOLDIERS run off stage in the opposite direction. ONE BLACK is left dead on the stage.
The SLAVE WOMAN kneels down and puts the head of the dead BLACK (female) in her lap. She starts a wordless keening. BILLY YANK comes slowly back on stage and approaches the SLAVE WOMAN. HE sings as if pleading for understanding. The SLAVE WOMAN keens on, unhearing)
BILLY YANK
I didn’t mean to do it.
I came here to set you free.
I don’t know how it happened
Or just why it had to be.
They had us in a trap there
We were scared my boys and me.
There was nothin’ gonna stop us
From Atlanta to the sea.
(BILLY YANK goes off, slowly. The SLAVE WOMAN is left alone with the dead BLACK)
DIALOGUE 8.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR walks across the stage in front of the curtain. HE is deep in thought and doesn’t see FARMER McLEAN enter from the other side. FARMER McLEAN’s wheelbarrow is laden with farm tools, luggage, etc. as in the first act.
FARMER McLEAN
Howdy, Mr. Interlocutor?
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR hasn’t heard him. McLEAN taps him on the shoulder)
Howdy, Mr. Interlocutor?
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Oh,. hello, Farmer McLean.
FARMER McLEAN
I’m movin’ again.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Where you movin’ to this time?
FARMER McLEAN
I’m clearin’ out! Away from the whole kit and kaboddle! Fit their first battles in my front forty … spoiled the wheat harvest that year. I hauled up stakes t’ be where t’was peaceful. An’ where’s I pick? Appomatox Courthouse! Finished their durn war right spang in the middle of my barley! That finishes me. I’m headin’ West, I’ve had the North … I’ve had the South … and a plague on both of them! West is the place to go, young man, West!
(HE pushes his cart off with a determined air)
MR, INTERLOCUTOR
For his sake, I hope nobody does any shootin’ out West.
(Some SOUTHERN SOLDIERS drift by)
Soldier . . . soldier How are you, soldier?
(THEY do not answer him but continue on)
Are you going back home, soldier?
(THEY wander off leaving him alone)
That’s the way with a war. Things turn out different from the way you planned. And when a war’s over, if you lost it, you soon find out what you lost. But if you won it, what did you win?
20. WHAT HAS BECOME OF BEAUTY
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
This is the way a world ends.
After the old time dies
We look around at the new time
In wonder and surprise.
Where are the things we lived for?
What did the living cost?
Where are the places that we knew?
Where is the road we lost?
What has become of beauty?
Where, oh where is love?
What has become of the fine pretty world?
The world they told us of.
Where did the light go to?
Where is the morning now?
When did we make the wrong turning?
When and how?
What has become of beauty?
Where, oh where is love?
What has become of the fine pretty world?
The world they told us of.
Look back beyond your shoulder
You’ll find the dream’s there yet.
But now we’re rather older
And our minds forget.
Only the heart still hungers
Searching the dark to see.
Where are you now; Oh, where are you now?
And what has become of me?
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR begins to dance. It is a sad little soft-shoe dance but expressive of all the dreams that were ever lost. If MR, INTERLOCUTOR is not a tap-dancer, MR. TAPS may be brought on to substitute for him in the dance section)
Where are you now; Oh, where are you now?
And what has become of me?
21. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?
The scene is Washington — the dome of the Capitol is now completed. An old BLACK WOMAN comes on, slowly. SHE has obviously been walking for many days, searching. SHE is tired, but projects a peculiar nobility. SHE is played by the contralto soloist who played HARRIET TUBMAN, THE SLAVE WOMAN, etc.
OLD BLACK WOMAN
Did he pass this way? Have you seen him?
Big and shinin’ like the day — have you seen him?
Did the hills perk up and listen when he’d talk?
Did the wind stand still to listen when he’d talk?
Did the stones move back to let him walk?
Maybe here’s the place, don’t you know him?
By the glory on his face you would know him.
If you’re laughin’, yet you feel you want to pray
Then you’ve seen him. Then you’ve seen him.
Is he somewhere here? Will I find him?
I can feel I’m gettin’ near — soon I’ll find him!
I’ve a mind to see him once before I’m through.
Just to look and see him once before I’m through.
Though there’s crowds all round, he’ll see me too!
He can talk to folks — an’ folks’ll know him!
By his stove-pipe hat and jokes you can know him!
When he smiles at you, then heaven’s smilin’ clear
An’ you’ve seen him! An’ you’ve seen him!
Did you say he’s gone? Still I’ll meet him!
Cause his soul goes marchin’ on, an’ I’ll meet him!
An’ he’ll throw his shadow clear across the sky
An’ we’ll see his shadow tow’rin’ in the sky
Like a strong old tree, but twice as high!
Though he’s buried deep, still I’ll know him!
For he’s yours and mine to keep, an’ we know him!
An’ the day I’m steppin’ Westward to the sun
The first thing I’ll do when all my journey’s done
Is to walk around heaven askin’ ev’ryone
Have you seen him? Have you seen him?
22. GRAND FINALE
In front of the curtain, MR. TAMBO and MR. BONES come high-stepping on, playing the tambourine and ‘bones.’
TAMBO
Oh Mister Bones, what’s all the noise
And tramp o’ marchin’ feet?
BONES
Why Mister Tarnbo, it’s the boys
A- comin’ down the street!
B-
TAMBO and BONES
They’re headin’ homeward from the war
An’ what a sight they’ve made.
They’ve lit their guns with candles
For a big torchlight parade!
(The curtains part revealing the Minstrel circle. The MALE CHORUS and MALE DANCERS (Black and White) come marching on in uniform. THEY are carrying their guns with lit candles in the gun barrels. The FEMALE CHORUS come on as cheering spectators)
MEN
That was the war.
What was it for?
What did it do
For me and you?
MEN and WOMEN
That was the war.
What was it for?
Now that it’s won
What all got done?
(BILLY YANK enters with the NORTHERN GIRL on his arm)
BILLY YANK
It saved the union,
Didn’t it?
(The ENSEMBLE divides evenly. There are Black and White in each half chorus)
CHORUS
Did it?
Didn’t it?
BILLY YANK and NORTHERN GIRL
It saved the union,
Did’t it?
CHORUS
Did it?
Didn’t it?
YAAH!
(The “YAAH” means “yes” to one side and “no” to the other.
JOHNNY REB enters with the SOUTHERN GIRL on his arm)
JOHNNY REB
It freed the slaves,
Did it?
CHORUS
Didn’t it?
Did it?
JOHNNY REB and SOUTHERN GIRL
It freed the slaves,
Did it?
CHORUS
didn’t it?
Did it?
YAAH!
(The COMEDIENNE enters)
COMEDIENNE
And Right triumphed,
Did it?
CHORUS
Didn’t it?
Did it?
(The BLACK CONTRALTO enters)
CONTRALTO
And Right triumphed,
Didn’t it?
PRINCIPLES and CHORUS
Did it?
Didn’t it?
Did it?
Didn’t it?
YAAH!
(For a moment it looks as if there will be a general melee, but MR. INTERLOCUTOR enters and stops it)
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Ladies and Gentlemen!
Gentlemen and Ladies!
If it was bad or it was good
Or maybe some of each
There’s one thing to be understood,
One thing the war can teach:
We are a country, right or wrong
If you like it or no,
With glory shining bright and strong
Along the way we’ll go!
(MR. BANJO enters. The COMPANY, led by MR. INTERLOCUTOR and MR. BANJO, swing into a march around the stage)
ENSEMBLE
There’ll be glory, glory in the morning.
There’ll be glory, glory round the bend.
We’ll be singing glory hallelujah.
There’s a great day coming, my friend.
MR. INTERLOCUTOR
Gentlemen, be seated!
(And the Gentlemen are seated — as in the beginning — as the
CURTAIN FALL
THE SHOW
CAST
LYRICS
MUSIC
GENTLEMEN, BE SEATED!
THE COMPLETE VOCAL SCORE
Gentlemen, Be Seated! is an anti-war, anti-racist musical history of the War Between the States. Music was composed by Jerome Moross with lyrics by Edward Eager. It was completed in 1956 and produced and presented by New York City Opera in 1963. This is the complete vocal score.
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WINDFLOWERS: THE SONGS OF JEROME MOROSS
WINDFLOWERS offers delectable proof, with selections from his stage shows Ballet Ballads, The Golden Apple, Underworld, and Gentlemen, Be Seated! Alice Ripley, Richard Muenz, Jessica Molaskey, Philip Chaffin and Jenny Giering – five singers equally at home on Broadway, in cabaret and in the recording studio – celebrate an American original, in nineteen selections alternately playful and atmospheric, and always highly melodic.